No one’s marriage is perfect, and even though things in yours may go well for a while, something may happen to tip the scales. Negative feelings, contempt, and apathy may start to seep in and cause a once-unified couple to drift. Marriage counselors are an excellent resource for assisting couples with refocusing their energy into improving their relationship. The methods they use may vary, but very often, they take very similar approaches. Take a look at these three basic approaches marriage counselors take in helping their clients repair a faltering union.
1. Builds Up What’s Working
In a failing marriage, it may be easy to focus on everything that is going wrong. One issue becomes a slippery slope, leading couples to pile on more and more negativity. An effective marriage therapist in Palatine, IL will shine a light on the elements of the marriage that are working. They will redirect negative nit-picking by asking the one complaining to add something positive about what the other is doing. For instance, if one spouse is upset that the other is out late every night, the therapist may want to focus on the reason for it. If it is because that spouse has taken on extra work or a second job, the focus should be on that and not on the absence.
2. Change the Way They Talk
It can be easy to tune out a nagging voice. If one spouse feels like the other only speaks negatively or nags, they may stop listening. One of the most significant obstacles to a healthy marriage is a lack of communication skills. You may believe you choose your words carefully, but a therapist may point out how you may sound condescending, or your choice of words may be offputting to the other spouse. Learning how to get your feelings out effectively and without underlying passive-aggressive sentiment often helps couples the most.
3. Think About the Good Days
There was once a time when you and your spouse were happy. That time does not have to be gone, even if it seems like it was long ago. Recapturing intimacy is a way marriage counselors help couples reconnect. Family routines may cause a couple to lose intimacy and drift apart. When the chasm is wide enough, it may be difficult getting them to feel needed or loved. Helping a couple reflect on the good moments together, whether it was the birth of a child or a job promotion, can help them rekindle the spark.
Marriage counseling can help save couples from splitting up. Armed with knowledge, they can go forward together instead of apart.
Thanks to Lotus Wellness Center for their insight into wellness and health.